The Beginning of Therapy:
Many people begin therapy having become very skilled at analysing their feelings rather than experiencing them. Pushing emotions away may have been an important way of coping or surviving, particularly when it did not feel safe to express them. Over time, however, this pattern can contribute to emotional distress, disconnection and ongoing stress.
At the beginning of therapy, we will focus on what you are experiencing in the here and now. I will help you develop practical ways to regulate your emotions and respond to difficult sensations without becoming overwhelmed.
Our emotions and bodies are closely connected. An upsetting thought, memory or situation can activate the body’s threat response, while physical sensations can influence how we think and feel. Somatic work can help you notice these responses with curiosity and gradually develop a greater sense of safety.
You will never be expected to face everything at once. We will work at a pace that feels manageable, approaching difficult emotions in small amounts and staying within your window of tolerance. The aim is not to force feelings away, but to help you observe, understand and process them with less fear.
I draw on a range of trauma-informed approaches, which may include somatic exercises, breathwork, visualisation, metaphor, hypnotherapy, parts work, inner-child work and Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). Together, we will explore what feels helpful and appropriate for you. You will always be encouraged to discuss how an approach feels and whether you wish to continue with it.
I will also help you recognise changes in your nervous system—for example, when you move into a heightened state of anxiety or agitation, or into shutdown, numbness or disconnection. You can then use regulation tools to return towards a steadier state, where it may feel easier to think clearly, make choices and feel more in control.
Beginning this work may feel vulnerable or frightening. Sessions will therefore be carefully paced, and you will not be asked to disclose or explore more than you feel ready for. I simply invite you to bring openness and a willingness to explore the process together.
A Strong Focus on The Therapeutic Relationship
I am a relationally focused therapist, which means that the relationship between us sits at the heart of the work.
Many emotional wounds develop within relationships. From infancy, we depend on connection, care and attachment. If early relationships do not feel consistently safe or nourishing, we may learn to hide parts of ourselves to maintain connection or avoid rejection. These patterns can continue into adulthood and affect how we relate to ourselves and others.
My aim is to offer a warm, respectful environment in which you can gradually develop a felt sense of safety. I will be present, compassionate and curious about your experience, helping you understand yourself more fully. With greater awareness can come greater choice, freedom and wellbeing.
Therapy will be a collaborative process. I will explain the ideas and tools we use so that you can make informed choices and develop skills to support yourself outside our sessions.
During Therapy
Throughout therapy, we may notice beliefs about yourself, other people or the world that no longer serve you. These might include thoughts such as “I’m not good enough,” “I’m unlovable” or “My needs do not matter.” Such beliefs can influence emotions, relationships and behaviour, often without us being fully aware of them.
Many beliefs and coping patterns begin in childhood and are shaped by family relationships, school experiences, culture and other important events. Difficulties do not have to involve a single, obviously traumatic event. Repeated criticism, bullying, emotional neglect, overprotection or feeling unsafe can all affect a person’s self-worth and their expectations of relationships.
Earlier experiences can sometimes contribute to familiar patterns in adult life. You may find yourself in unbalanced relationships, struggling to set boundaries, fearing failure or success, or responding strongly to situations that resemble past experiences. These patterns are not your fault, and they do not mean that you consciously chose or attracted painful events.
Our work will be to understand these responses with compassion and help reduce the emotional intensity attached to them. We can then explore healthier beliefs, boundaries and ways of relating. If you have few childhood memories, this does not prevent therapy from being helpful. We can focus on what is happening in your present life, how you respond and what you would like to change.
During sessions, I will remain attentive to my own responses so that I can stay grounded and present with you. A consistent and supportive therapeutic relationship can help you build a healthier, more compassionate relationship with yourself.
Therapy Goals
You may arrive with specific goals, which we will discuss and review together. More broadly, therapy may help you to:
improve your quality of life;
regulate your emotions when you feel triggered;
listen to yourself and connect with your inner wisdom;
recognise and transform unhelpful beliefs;
become less reactive and respond in ways that serve you better;
develop a kinder, more compassionate relationship with yourself; and
build a practical set of tools you feel confident using independently.
Therapy is an individual process, and no particular outcome can be guaranteed. We will regularly review what is helpful and adapt our work to your needs, preferences and goals.
